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If you asked my friends to describe me in a word, most of them would respond with, "Shy." The funny thing is, I wasn't always like that.

When I was a really little kid, I would go to parks and if there was another girl there that was around my age, I would go up to her and say, "Hi! I'm Hayley. Do you want to play with me?" And the girl would usually say yes and we would be playing together like we were best friends.

Now, making friends isn't so easy for me - at least, with certain people. It kinda varies. Naturally, I'm more outgoing around more outgoing people. And more shy around shy people.

And here's something you must know about me: I have tended to stick around certain people...only talk to certain groups of people. I haven't usually tried to converse with anyone outside my safe little circle of friends.

One of my closest friends was telling me the other day that she used to think I was really annoying. Which makes sense, because I followed her everywhere.

I didn't really have many friends at that point, and I wanted to get to know her. But she seemed pretty determined not to get to know me. It's a miracle we ever became such close friends, because of how distant we used to be.

Anyway, sometimes I get enough guts to talk to someone and then I feel like it's "ok" to talk to them. It's like there are "safe" people, being people that I can talk to without feeling like they don't care, and "unsafe" people, being people that I think are judging me and just don't care at all about what I have to say...or who don't even want to talk to me in the first place.

But a major flaw with that attitude is that most of the time, I'm just assuming that the person (or persons) doesn't care. But there are many nice people out there that would like to get to know me...but only if I am willing to tell them about myself and to be willing to hear about themselves.

And that's the main point I wanted to make in this post. You need to remember to be open to everyone that comes into your life, even the ones that seem like the least likely to be your friend. I'm not saying that you should be best buds with everyone you meet, just be friendly.

Especially with your church family. I have been settling into a church for the past year. I feel much more like I belong there because I became closer friends with the people I already knew and then became friends with new people.

But there have been some people that I never talked to. They seemed unapproachable to me. I thought that they just cared about their own friends and they wouldn't care to be my friend. But I was wrong.

Lately, I have gotten to know so many people that I never thought I would. A girl that came to dance a few times a long time ago, a guy that I had only seen a few times before, and a girl that was part of a family that I knew from being in plays.

But before, I had only known who they were. I didn't dare try to make conversation with them. but now that I have reached out a little more, they have changed from seeming like "unsafe" people to "safe" people.

And sometimes it wasn't me trying to reach out. With one guy, I saw him at church after he had been gone for a long time, and he said, "Hi, Hayley!" It was a very simple thing, but it let me know that he did care about me and was open to being my friend.

Sometimes it's even more simple than that; someone that you never thought to talk to just looks at you and smiles or says a quick, "Hi!"

It is actually much easier to break the ice than one would think. And people really aren't as judgmental, and are more accepting than we assume that they will be.

There are always those people that are in your life that you see all the time, but never reach out to. So, if you ever think of it, the next time you go to church or school or whatever, I challenge you to reach out to someone that you always overlooked.

If you just decide to step out of your comfort zone and be open to new friendships, you never know what could happen.

(originally posted Sunday, June 20, 2010) 

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