Book Review: "Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart"
Full Title: Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart: Discovering the Beauty and Freedom of God-Defined Sexuality
Authors: Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal (of Girl Defined Ministries)
Publisher: Baker Books/Baker Publishing Group
Release Date: April 29, 2019
ISBN-13: 9780801075575
Genres:
Christian Non-Fiction/Biography
Christian Living/Women
Target Audience: Christian young adult women and teen girls (single, dating, or married), recommended for age 13 and up (but may be read by younger girls, with an adult).
Book Summary/Description:
This is a book, from the protestant Christian perspective, about God's biblical definition and purpose of sex, sexuality, and purity. This book is written in a casual and relatable, almost blog-like, language, in which the authors sprinkle their own experiences and personal struggles and advice throughout the book, as they discuss what the Bible says about sex versus what the world (and the sinful nature) says about sex, and how to apply the biblical truths and commandments to everyday life. The issues and topics relating to sex and purity (which are brought up in this book) are discussed to give the readers knowledge, encouragement, advice, and tips for practical application, for the purpose of growing in faith and in obedience to God.
Note: At the time this book was written, Kristen was married and Bethany was unmarried, but was in a courting relationship. So, this book offers both virgin and non-virgin perspectives and thoughts on sex, sexuality, and purity.
Special Features:
In this book, you'll discover...
- A Biblical understanding of your sexuality
- God's good design for love, passion, and sex
- Why your longings for intimacy are actually a good thing
- How to conquer lust in your life
- What God's Word teaches about porn, masturbation, and erotica
- How to deal with secret sexual struggles
- Practical help for embracing a heart of purity
- How to find ultimate satisfaction in Jesus
- and much more!
Some lists and tips include:
- 4 Cultural Lies about Our Sexual Design
- 4 Biblical Truths about Our Sexual Design
- 3 Wrong Narratives about Purity (followed up with 1 Biblical Narrative about Purity)
- 6 Biblical Facts about Temptation
- The 3-Step Process of Temptation
- 5 Strategies to Win the Inner Struggle with Temptation
- 4 Steps to Take in Your Journey Toward Freedom from Sexual Sin
- 7 Hush-Hush Questions
- A 3-Step Method to Grow and Change (and turn away from sexual sin)
In the back of the book, you'll find...
- An Appendix, which offers tips, advice, and encouragement on the topic of Finding Hope and Healing from Sexual Abuse
- Discussion Questions, relating to each chapter (for group study or personal study)
My Review:
What I liked:
1. The humility, honesty, and openness about Kristen and Bethany's personal struggles with lust, masturbation, and erotica.
Rather than removing themselves from the book's narrative, they opt to reveal their own sexual struggles, as early as the first chapter. I think that was a great decision, because it helps to relate the readers with the authors. Personally, it was refreshing to learn that these ladies are not, as they put it, "gold-star Christian girls", but have also struggled with sexual sin. This honesty and openness also may encourage others to reveal their secret sins and struggles with others, in order to overcome them.
2. The very classy way that Kristen and Bethany talk about sex.
When they mention sex, it is not described in steamy or sensual detail. They generally do not discuss sexual acts or body parts, except for in their chapter on porn, erotica, and masturbation (but only briefly and in mild detail). Kristen, who was the only one married at the time this book was written, kept her own sexual experiences with her husband under wraps. They took every effort to avoid writing about sex in a way that would resemble an erotica novel. I appreciate their desire and effort to keep the marriage bed sacred and to avoid causing readers to stumble. This is helpful for those who struggle with erotica and those who desire to keep their minds pure.
Rather than removing themselves from the book's narrative, they opt to reveal their own sexual struggles, as early as the first chapter. I think that was a great decision, because it helps to relate the readers with the authors. Personally, it was refreshing to learn that these ladies are not, as they put it, "gold-star Christian girls", but have also struggled with sexual sin. This honesty and openness also may encourage others to reveal their secret sins and struggles with others, in order to overcome them.
2. The very classy way that Kristen and Bethany talk about sex.
When they mention sex, it is not described in steamy or sensual detail. They generally do not discuss sexual acts or body parts, except for in their chapter on porn, erotica, and masturbation (but only briefly and in mild detail). Kristen, who was the only one married at the time this book was written, kept her own sexual experiences with her husband under wraps. They took every effort to avoid writing about sex in a way that would resemble an erotica novel. I appreciate their desire and effort to keep the marriage bed sacred and to avoid causing readers to stumble. This is helpful for those who struggle with erotica and those who desire to keep their minds pure.
3. Their thorough explanations and definitions of lust, purity, temptation, erotica, porn, masturbation, etc.
In this book, they discuss several topics thoroughly, with dictionary definitions, words from other notable Christian authors, theology, and biblical truths and history. I found it very helpful and educational to have these things presented plainly and clearly.
If you want to know what the things listed above are (or what they aren't), this book does a great job at defining them. If you have questions like, What constitutes lust? What does it mean to be pure? How does temptation work/lead to sin? or What is wrong with erotica, porn, and masturbation?, this could be a great resource for you.
4. They discuss with the reader about what their motivations and desires really are and what they're rooted in: the desire to honor God or the desire to please the self.
That purity should be for the purpose of striving to honor God, not just to avoid consequences.
5. Some of their practical tips can be applied to other areas of struggle in one's life.
6. They are sensitive to those who have been sexually abused and those with sexually sinful pasts (and even say that we all have sexually sinful pasts). They don't say that faith in Jesus is a magic fix to struggles with sexual sin or that it is a lack of faith that causes sexual sin.
In this book, they discuss several topics thoroughly, with dictionary definitions, words from other notable Christian authors, theology, and biblical truths and history. I found it very helpful and educational to have these things presented plainly and clearly.
If you want to know what the things listed above are (or what they aren't), this book does a great job at defining them. If you have questions like, What constitutes lust? What does it mean to be pure? How does temptation work/lead to sin? or What is wrong with erotica, porn, and masturbation?, this could be a great resource for you.
4. They discuss with the reader about what their motivations and desires really are and what they're rooted in: the desire to honor God or the desire to please the self.
That purity should be for the purpose of striving to honor God, not just to avoid consequences.
5. Some of their practical tips can be applied to other areas of struggle in one's life.
6. They are sensitive to those who have been sexually abused and those with sexually sinful pasts (and even say that we all have sexually sinful pasts). They don't say that faith in Jesus is a magic fix to struggles with sexual sin or that it is a lack of faith that causes sexual sin.
What I didn't like:
1. This book fails at some points to give complete and straightforward answers.
Their chapter Answers to Hush Hush Questions seems to miss the mark especially. Even with a title that suggests that the chapter contains actual answers, it seems to mostly give vague and superficial answers.
For example, one of the questions is something along the lines of, "If I'm single all my life, does that mean I'll never have sex?" They try to give some good sentiments and say things like, "Don't worry about the future" and "Sex isn't for single people" etc., but fail to give an actual definitive answer to the question.
I'll do you a favor and give it now: If you remain unmarried all your life, you should not have sex. So, you may never have sex at all in your lifetime. That's the simple, Biblical answer. I really don't understand why they beat around the bush and dodge the question.
There also was a question about what Kristen and Bethany's thoughts and beliefs are on the LGBTQ+ community, and instead of giving a straightforward answer, they just say they are against violence and hate and they want to love all people, etc. I mean, those are all good things, but what they didn't mention is the fact that the beliefs and values of the LGBTQ+ community do not align with what the Bible says about relationships, marriage, and sex.
I think that the person asking the question wanted to know if Kristen and Bethany were for or against the beliefs of the LGBTQ+ community, or what they believe and why, but Kristen and Bethany did not talk about that at all.
I am certain that they don't agree with the LGBTQ+ community, but they weren't willing to come right out and say so. Except, they did discuss how same-sex attraction and transgenderism are sins and struggles, but didn't explain much as to why it's wrong.
I was very disappointed to find that they didn't really answer or explain these questions and issues, because it would have been a good opportunity to reach out to people who are reading the book in search of real answers to their questions.
I am not a part of the LGBTQ+ community, nor do I agree with their beliefs and lifestyles, but I can imagine that anyone who is really struggling with these things may be put off by this book and may disregard it because it claims to give answers, but those answers are very limited and vague.
1. This book fails at some points to give complete and straightforward answers.
Their chapter Answers to Hush Hush Questions seems to miss the mark especially. Even with a title that suggests that the chapter contains actual answers, it seems to mostly give vague and superficial answers.
For example, one of the questions is something along the lines of, "If I'm single all my life, does that mean I'll never have sex?" They try to give some good sentiments and say things like, "Don't worry about the future" and "Sex isn't for single people" etc., but fail to give an actual definitive answer to the question.
I'll do you a favor and give it now: If you remain unmarried all your life, you should not have sex. So, you may never have sex at all in your lifetime. That's the simple, Biblical answer. I really don't understand why they beat around the bush and dodge the question.
There also was a question about what Kristen and Bethany's thoughts and beliefs are on the LGBTQ+ community, and instead of giving a straightforward answer, they just say they are against violence and hate and they want to love all people, etc. I mean, those are all good things, but what they didn't mention is the fact that the beliefs and values of the LGBTQ+ community do not align with what the Bible says about relationships, marriage, and sex.
I think that the person asking the question wanted to know if Kristen and Bethany were for or against the beliefs of the LGBTQ+ community, or what they believe and why, but Kristen and Bethany did not talk about that at all.
I am certain that they don't agree with the LGBTQ+ community, but they weren't willing to come right out and say so. Except, they did discuss how same-sex attraction and transgenderism are sins and struggles, but didn't explain much as to why it's wrong.
I was very disappointed to find that they didn't really answer or explain these questions and issues, because it would have been a good opportunity to reach out to people who are reading the book in search of real answers to their questions.
I am not a part of the LGBTQ+ community, nor do I agree with their beliefs and lifestyles, but I can imagine that anyone who is really struggling with these things may be put off by this book and may disregard it because it claims to give answers, but those answers are very limited and vague.
Other things to keep in mind:
It seems to me that this book is geared more towards those who are already Bible-believing Christians and already know that sex is meant to be between one man and one woman in marriage and that it is wrong to subscribe to the LGBTQ+ ideology.
Basically, this book is geared towards a certain group of people, and unfortunately does very little to attempt to reach out to those with differing or questioning beliefs.
To those who are uncertain about whether or not they believe the Bible or who wonder why it's a sin to engage in sexual acts or romantic relationships with the same sex, this may not be the book for you.
However, I would recommend looking at other books on the topics of sex and sexuality and how it relates to Christianity (which Kristen and Bethany do reference briefly in their book), including Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry.
Final Thoughts:
Despite my grievances, I liked this book overall. For those who are Bible-Believing Christians, who want to learn more about God's design for sex, sexuality, and purity, this book is a great and worthwhile read. It will make you think about what you have been believing about sex, intimacy, and what purity is and is not.
Personally, I would say that the book answered some of my questions about erotica and masturbation, two things that I wasn't quite sure what to think or believe about.
Despite my grievances, I liked this book overall. For those who are Bible-Believing Christians, who want to learn more about God's design for sex, sexuality, and purity, this book is a great and worthwhile read. It will make you think about what you have been believing about sex, intimacy, and what purity is and is not.
Personally, I would say that the book answered some of my questions about erotica and masturbation, two things that I wasn't quite sure what to think or believe about.
My Rating: 4 Stars
Full Disclosure: As a member of the book's launch team, I was given the book for free by Baker Books (on behalf of Girl Defined Ministries) in exchange for my honest review. Beyond that, I am not sponsored by or affiliated with Girl Defined Ministries or Baker Books in any way.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hello We are OddThemes, Our name came from the fact that we are UNIQUE. We specialize in designing premium looking fully customizable highly responsive blogger templates. We at OddThemes do carry a philosophy that: Nothing Is Impossible
0 comments:
Post a Comment